JDGreat
True Member
Whirlwind Lancer
Like the good book says, "Let He who is without sin throweth the first rock"... and I shalt smoke it
Posts: 59
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Post by JDGreat on Jul 13, 2007 22:14:10 GMT
Jake got up, side of his face with a fist imprint. Slowly and methodically, he took the cookie off of Ben and then casually lit his trusty Bunsen Burner. He then started to flame the cookie until it was burnt and smoking.
He then opened Ben's mouth and slammed the cookie home, causing burning in Ben's mouth. He then walked over to the canteen, grabbed a drink and sat down to watch the show.
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Post by Benedict on Jul 13, 2007 22:27:00 GMT
Ben chewed... slowly, then faster, and faster, until his mouth was a blurr of flying cookie crumbs and jaw. "OMGOMGOMG THIS IS AMAZIIIING!" He screamed in orgasmic delight! Grabbing another cookie he burnt it to a crisp and ate that too, and soon others joined in the cookie orgy, ramming chunks of cookie hard down their slavering gobs, enjoying the new, bunsen-induced flavour of burnt methane and cookie!
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Post by Okan on Jul 14, 2007 9:53:25 GMT
Okan slowly got off the table and munched on the cookies Ben was offering. Being slightly pissed off with Jake G. he grabbed three cookies and putting some gasoline on them, he set them alight.
"Eat this you Bi.tch," Okan shouted and hurled the three cookies at ungodly speeds at Jake G.
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Post by jayvenathwal on Jul 15, 2007 11:51:24 GMT
Seeing this violent act take place, jayven took out a paintball gun *which he had stolen from jakes birthday party* and shot the cookies in mid-air. However, they did not break, but instead became covered in highly toxic paint!!! They had been knocked out of their jake-ward path and now were flying towards ben!!!
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Post by Okan on Jul 15, 2007 11:55:16 GMT
Seeing the cookies being diverted, Okan pushed off a table and leaped into the path of the burning objects.
bang, bang, bang
The cookies smahed into Okan burning his blazer.
f**k!!
OKan quickly took off his blazer and smashed the cookies on the floor.
"You bitch Jayven," Okan smiled at him. He turned to Ben and slapped him.
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Jake R
True Member
Silent and violent...
Quit staring at me!!!
Posts: 38
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Post by Jake R on Jul 15, 2007 19:59:42 GMT
Jake R. awoke to the carnage after being knocked unconsciousness by the cheesiness of Jayven's testicles joke.
He saw the burning cookies and thought he knew what was going on, so spurred by this he used a random lighter lying around, lit some cookies on fire then shoved the burning chocolate chip goodness into the waiting mouth of Jayven
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JDGreat
True Member
Whirlwind Lancer
Like the good book says, "Let He who is without sin throweth the first rock"... and I shalt smoke it
Posts: 59
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Post by JDGreat on Jul 16, 2007 16:42:02 GMT
While this was going on, Jake was trying to convince himself that he had actually gone to one of the best schools in the country with the brightest boys of his age group. Unfortunately, it was no dream.
He sighed and looked up what else there was. There appeared to be a cooked sausage there. Feeling peckish, Jake reached out... Before the sausage leapt at Jake and started to try and strangle him!
Between gasps of air of trying to stay alive, Jake called to the others.
"It's killing me! And not because of it's spicyness before any of you start! It's gotta be a polymorph!"
Jake then managed to wrest it from his throat and held it firmly in his hand. It then transformed into a large massive swarm of pirahnnas!
Hurling the deadly fish away, Jake shouted.
"I HATE PIRAHNNAS! They are my all time second worst fear!"
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Post by Okan on Jul 16, 2007 17:09:13 GMT
Okan stared at Jake G. cocking an eyebrow.
"What the hell?! That's messed" Okan smiled, as he picked up a fork and sent it hurtling towards the piranha and impaling it. Okan slapped Jake G. for tying him to a table, then Okan ate a cookie and drank a cup of creamy goodness of a strawberry milkshake.
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Jake R
True Member
Silent and violent...
Quit staring at me!!!
Posts: 38
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Post by Jake R on Jul 16, 2007 18:27:26 GMT
The correct reply is... "What's your worst fear?" Oh and the cup Okan is drinking just happens to be from mcdonalds and as the lucky 100,000 milkshake made, it comes with a free apple pie. however, seeing as how it is a week old, it is cold and is only useful for throwing. Okan, it's all yours ;D
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JDGreat
True Member
Whirlwind Lancer
Like the good book says, "Let He who is without sin throweth the first rock"... and I shalt smoke it
Posts: 59
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Post by JDGreat on Jul 16, 2007 18:39:31 GMT
The pirahnna exploded into a shower of gore and a massive creature rose from it. Scything talons as big as a man's leg jutted out from it's body and it had more teeth than mouths. Quite an acheivement when it seemed to be made entirely of mouths.
To all of this Jake answered, whimpering. "This is."
A tentacle erupted from the polymorph and stuck itself onto Jake's head, appearing to suck something out. Jake went cross eyed and fell over unconcious. The tentacle then retracted and the polymorph transformed into a ball and bounced out of the cafeteria.
A few moments later, Jake woke up.
"Where is that mouthy bastard? I'll take him on at nine rounds of bare knuckle boxing! There will be a problem of him not having any hands but I'll kick the crap outta him!"
Clearly, the polymorph fed on emotions and had sucked away all of Jake's fear.
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Post by Okan on Jul 16, 2007 18:44:05 GMT
(If we're gonna fight it, make sure it doenst finish in one post..*Glares at JR*...And also you copied this monster from Starship Troppers, the Brain))
Okan gawped at the Mouthed Monster.
"When things can't get any worse. They usually do," Okan said as he picked up some cutlery and lobbed them at the Thing. Looking displeased, the monster threw a tentacle towards Okan. Seeing the attack, Okan jumped away, only to hit his head on the table. Aw crap
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JDGreat
True Member
Whirlwind Lancer
Like the good book says, "Let He who is without sin throweth the first rock"... and I shalt smoke it
Posts: 59
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Post by JDGreat on Jul 16, 2007 18:58:19 GMT
The polymorph, seeing no other viable targets for now, decided to flee immediatly, changing into the shape of steam and flowing out of the cafeteria door.
Jake was still rambling on about how he could fight the thing head on in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and a Beat Bullying band until one of the others tried to mercifully knock him out with a plank of wood. They failed.
"Here, you. You having a go? Come on then, I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON! ONE AT A TIME OR ALL AT ONCE I COULD KICK YOUR ASSES INTO NEXT WEEK!"
WHACK!!!
This time, it definately worked and Jake was sent to the Land of Nod
(BTW I didn't nick it from Starship Troopers. I nicked it from the Red Dwarf comedy series)
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Post by Okan on Jul 16, 2007 19:11:49 GMT
Okan slapped JG's cheeks.
"Yo, sleepy head. Wake up," Okan poured water over the 'unconcious' JG. Seeing the Polymorpth exit, Okan ignored the others and headed chase after it. forgetting he had no weapon in hand.
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Jake R
True Member
Silent and violent...
Quit staring at me!!!
Posts: 38
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Post by Jake R on Jul 20, 2007 19:01:37 GMT
Jake R. eats the apple pie he offered Okan and then hands Jake G. a Rubix cube for him to mess with for a while.*Jake had earlier swapped the stickers on the Rubix cube so it was impossible*
With Jake G. incapacitated, the other Jake merrily followed Okan knowing that violence and a cool scene of carnage and snow would follow, and even a chance of the polymorph turning into something cool, like a double barrel shotgun.
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Post by Okan on Aug 21, 2007 20:28:06 GMT
Okan made chase after the polymorph and rushed into the cold cloakroom, which had a terrible smell of a stinkbomb. First thoughts, ABBAS Okan saw the polymorph ahead of him and it immediatly turned into a sexy woman with huge tits and blonde hair.
"Hellooo," Okan whistled. His body slowly started to walk to the woman/monster by itself. He was hypomotized by the breasts.
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JDGreat
True Member
Whirlwind Lancer
Like the good book says, "Let He who is without sin throweth the first rock"... and I shalt smoke it
Posts: 59
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Post by JDGreat on Nov 20, 2007 18:55:20 GMT
(Ressurection Post)
Jake had finally woken up.
"SON OF A BITCH!" He yelled as he kicked the door down from the cafeteria. There he saw the busty blonde and Okan being mesmerised by her assets.
So Okie's gonna lose all his lust and horny-ness. Looks like I was right earlier about his little swimmers ain't swimmin'. Normally, I'd help the bastard but this looks fun too.
So he sat down on a bench, took out a kiddie carton of juice and with a dead serious face, began to slurp his juice loudly.
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Post by Okan on Nov 29, 2007 21:11:58 GMT
Okan took a couple of steps forward towards the woman until he was facing it. Without knowing he saw two guns pop out her breasts and it began firing rapidly around the cloakroom.
Okan barely had time to react and 'did a matrix' by diving out the way and hiding behind Jake G, knowing he would be a good shield to take the shots.
"Thanks Jake, your always there when necessary," Okan said giving a friendly wink before crouching below the bench avoiding bullets ricocheting past him.
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JDGreat
True Member
Whirlwind Lancer
Like the good book says, "Let He who is without sin throweth the first rock"... and I shalt smoke it
Posts: 59
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Post by JDGreat on Dec 1, 2007 13:45:04 GMT
Raising an eyebrow, Jake finished his juice and placed the carton on Okan's head. Then he ran straight forward towards the woman. Remember, his fear has been sucked out so he's acting irrational here.
He did the worst thing he could do when fighting a female opponent. Not only is it ineffective, but they'll be insulted and try to strike back out of righteous fury for mistaking them with the opposite sex.
He attempted to kick it in the balls.
Yeah...
Not too smart.
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